


A vested interest

by Thirtyfivefoxes



Category: ANBU Legacy, naruto kind of
Genre: This has plot that only makes sense if you read legacy, and what went wrong, how did I get here, not cannon, this is like secondhand canon, vest is a character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-24 11:16:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20705102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thirtyfivefoxes/pseuds/Thirtyfivefoxes
Summary: The discord made me do it. Kakashi and Kurenai dress up.





	A vested interest

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t.... there’s no explanation for this

A lot of assumptions were made about Ginta, and he honestly didn’t mind. Incorrect assumptions fed the beast that kept Ginta at the top of his game. But in all everything his peers assumed, correct or not, no one ever realized the very simple fact that Ginta is pragmatic. His bones had realism carved down to the marrow.

Kurenai’s tentative triangle was too fragile to insert himself in, plus Raidou really didn’t trust him still. And Hatake had done everything to mark his territory short of peeing on Tousaki. Well. Maybe he had. Ginta actively tries not to kink shame. (Or follow that imagery any further than it needs to go.)

Everybody's getting laid but Ginta, and as he shoves the door open to his favorite boutique, he figures if he can’t be involved then he can at least fan the fire.

——  
Kakashi had found himself in some very odd places before. A sewer in the middle of Kiri ranked rather high. But it lost out to the peculiarities of being in Sakamoto’s apartment without him, but with Kurenai. 

Red eyes bored holes in the side of Kakashi’s mask. “I know why I’m here,” Kurenai paused, “and I know theoretically why you’re here,” another pause, “what I don’t know is why Ginta isn’t here.” 

Kakashi shrugged and slouched further into the couch, maybe today he’d learn how to phase into furniture and all of this subterfuge would be in vain because he’d just become a chair and pummel Danzou that way. They can’t charge a chair with treason. Can’t charge a chair with anything. And chairs don’t have impending relationship discussions with pretty boys with pretty eyes and more issues than the bingo book.

Kurenai sat with perfect posture at the edge of her chair, content to watch Kakashi like a bird of prey until he answered the question that she hadn’t asked. He didn’t know the answer so she could sit and preen all she wanted. Kakashi went back to day dreaming about sentient chairs and violence of a treasonous nature. Which made the front door slamming open slightly more alarming.

“Mmmmmnnnnnph!!” Cried the paper shopping bag looming in the doorway. Kakashi blinked. 

“HMMMMMMMMM!!!” The bag exclaimed as it tottered into the room. Kurenai’s expression could have been carved from granite. 

The bags crashed to the ground and resolved into a slightly mussed and very smug Ginta. 

“I went shopping.” 

It took two separate genjutsu and Ginta exercising some of his rope skills to contain Kakashi. 

——-  
Kurenai eyed Ginta warily. “So your plan, is to stage a date between me and-“ she gestured to the Kakashi shaped piles of rope wriggling near the door. 

Ginta bobbed his head enthusiastically as he dug through his purchases. 

“In order to establish a cover for you while you slink around your own family’s estate.”

The rope bound bundle kicked the wall, Ginta rustled in the bags agreeably. 

“Because the idea of Kakashi asking me out is cause for enough stir to distract a significant portion of ANBU, the Hokage’s office, and some very high ranking medical personnel.”

A feral snarl ripped past rope. Clothes hangers clattered around cheerfully. 

“And during this chaos the one team most likely to catch the fall if you do get caught, which isn’t even your own, will be so preoccupied by the fake date they’ll all be clear of any repercussions.”

A single grey eye snapped around to Kurenai. Kakashi stopped trying to fight his way out of his bondage and sighed. 

Ginta finished laying out two outfits and turned to flash Kurenai a victory sign. “It’s one layer of many designed to cause domestic chaos as a cover. We need Hatake’s team to be as clear as possible of subterfuge, in the off chance that I bungle my end of things.”

Kurenai paused as she tugged one of Kakashi’s ropes. “And?”

Ginta’s eyes fluttered, “and I got to go shopping.”

——  
It took another hour to convince Kakashi. In the end it took “it’s safer for your team and you can tell Ryouma after” to get him fully on board.

Kakashi was very set on pretending that he wasn’t going to end up wearing clothes Sakamoto had picked out. Kurenai didn’t share his reservations and had already slipped into the bed room to change. 

Ginta was practically vibrating with contained energy as he swung a garment bag around. 

“I even adhered to your dull and unimaginative color scheme mostly,” a deep maroon tie appeared out of a second bag and Ginta grinned. “Except for the occasional pop.”

Kakashi eyed Ginta warily. Ginta was unpredictable in a way that Kakashi had only previously known as Genin made exploding tags. 

The garment bag rustled.

Kurenai stepped out of the bedroom and Kakashi hated Ginta.

The dress was a simple cut. Black, long sleeves clinging to her slim arms, the entire thing was the kind of stretchy body conforming material that made Kakashi nervous. The hem line barely hit her at mid thigh. She turned slightly and the light danced across the tiny blood red threads woven in a stripe around the slimmest part of her waist. The dress, Kakashi knew, was dangerous. 

The garment bag rustled into Kakashi’s hands. He considered the many many ways he could maim Ginta. But couldn’t come up with a single other plan that covered everyone’s asses so well. Except for Ginta. There was no reason two Shinobi going on a date would make him slink around his family estate. Kakashi resigned himself. 

If Ginta could risk everything Kakashi could wear the fucking outfit. 

——

Treating it like a mission helped. Kakashi pulled on silk black dress socks and considered the things about himself he needed to shed for this to be convincing. His uniform pants hit the floor with his almostmaybenotyet relationship. Dark grey slacks slid on with an established interest in Kurenai. 

Kakashi faced the mirror. The jounin vest was laid down carefully with his desire for revenge. Black silk shirt with blood red stitching to match Kurenai’s dress slid on and so did contentment with his lot in ANBU. 

Kakashi tucked the shirt in and took a breath. He slipped the tie around his neck. He… didn’t actually know how these worked. But he remembered watching Minato tie one once. Before a date with Kushina. The man had tugged and swore before getting it just perfect. Kakashi closed his eyes. 

“Come on dead last we can do this.” 

Kakashi opened his eyes and tied a perfect knot. The last thing in the bag was a light grey vest. It had a deceptive strength to it. Kakashi contemplated that he was holding what essential was a corset dressed as a vest. The dull thump and cackle from the other room meant they had noticed his chakra spike. 

Kakashi pulled the vest on and with it the last shreds of who he needed to be for this to work. He slipped the black buttons through their holes and put his team, and how far he’d go for them in a tiny box. He reached back to the red satin winding through the hoops in the back and pulled it snug. He put his teams box in a mental hole. He tied off the ribbon and threw a mountain of dirt over the hole. 

Kakashi sat and pulled on the shiny shiny dress shoes and hoped that if they didn’t all get arrested for treason someone else would like the vest.


End file.
